1971 through 1982

In two days I'll be thirty three.

I thought it would be a good time to break down my life into highlights, year by year starting with the first third...

at least as much as my selective memory will allow.

1971- A good year for Falls Church, Virginia. Shane Richard Nickerson was born in Fairfax County and almost died of meningitis. Good times.

1972- Yay! One! I shit my pants like nobody's business. My mom always knew when I was shitting because I'd hide under curtains and behind bushes and my face would turn bright red as I pushed. Ahh, youth.

1973- Terrible Two. I was actually NOT a terrible two year old. I knew my alphabet by 19 months, much to the disbelief of any stranger my grandma happened to pull aside and demonstrate to. They'd laugh when she said, "He knows his alphabet." They'd say, "Of course he does," with a smug smile. Then she'd point out every letter in a book and I got them all. Even then, I was a decent speller. Notice there is no mention of numbers. It was the beginning of my lifelong feud with math.

1974- At three, I began attending the local pre-school. I rode the bus to school and an accident on the way to school one day prompted my mother to write a letter to the state asking, "Why are there no seatbelts on buses?" I also came home and told my mother about the new word I learned from the bus driver when we got into the accident. "SHIT!"

1975- Was I excited about it being a year before our country's bicentennial? No I was not. I was, however, excited about moving to Londonderry, NH into a house with an "upstairs" and a "backyard," and "the woods." I began attending "Pixie Pre School." We once had a haunted house (which was actually sheets hung up in the classroom with the lights out) with cold spaghetti as worms, peeled grapes as eyeballs, and probably some other thing that would freak out a four year old.

1976- Our country's bicentennial. I remember a lot of Red, White, and Blue. And swimming lessons. And the smell of the YMCA pool which scared the everloving bejesus out of me. Loud, echoey, and cold. No wonder I didn't dive until I was 8.

1977- My first movie in the theater: Star Wars. Later on in life, I would make the tragic social mistake of getting "Star Wars Sneakers." I wore them with pride the first day and then instantly regretted it when I was lambasted by ALL of my friends wearing Zips.

1978- Seven. I played in a gopher baseball league on a team called "The Bullfrogs." We were not good. I was a pitcher, but kids couldn't actually pitch to other kids. You just played that position on the field while the coach (my dad) pitched to the other team. Stupid bullfrogs.

1979- Eight years old. Eight was a big year. I opened my first "passbook" savings account at First NH Bank and deposited 10 dollars. Eventually, I would use some of the money I had saved on a Kodak Instamatic c-110 camera. That same year, I started my first blog...er, I mean photo album. I took a lot of pictures of my room, my stuffed animals, my friends in my room, and my favorite one:

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, with the light sabers built into their arms fully extended, engaged in a battle to the death on a small brown wooden chair. I thought that my Kenner© action figures would look more real if I used the dowels of the chair back as a background. It was out of focus and not real-looking. (Remember Wil's story about his Death Star that he traded for a sucky Land Speeder? Well, *I* had an X-Wing Fighter, complete with a red button behind R2 that activated a red laser gun(mini lightbulb) in the front...

...that I later sold at a Flea Market. [smacking forehead] I know. I know.)

Anyway, I took a bunch of pictures of my room at the time. Most of the shots are boring (although interesting now.) I did, however, get a nice shot of my Close Encounters frisbee that came with a matching hanging hook. I peeled back the paper from the adhesive on the back of the hook and stuck it on my bookcase next to my bed. There are still remnants of that stupid frisbee hook (and I never once used the frisbee) on that old bookcase. I made lots of regrettable mistakes with stickers. More to come on that.

1980- My last year of single digitdom. Hmm. Nothing rings a bell at nine. I know I got my first "big-boy bike" complete with banana seat around this time. It had mud guards, a number on the front, and a distinctly non-bmx look. My brother and I used to play "Chips" on our bikes (switching off as Ponch and Jon), so we did a lot of skidding. Back then, bikes didn't have hand brakes. You just slammed backwards on the pedals and skidded. We'd get as fast as we could go down Sparhawk Road and lay into the brakes. Longest skid wins. I burned through so many tires that eventualy my dad replaced the back wheel with a "Skidder Tire," which was a sort of square shaped monstrosity with four parallel grooves acting as "tread." Very uncool. Plus, it didn't leave much of a mark on the street. I started to hate that stupid banana seat bike and wish for a BMX.

1981- TEN. Now I was getting somewhere. I spent some time skating at "Spinning Wheels" roller skating rink and more importantly, playing Pac-Man© and Dig-Dug©. I think my girlfriend at the time was named Julie Willey. By girlfriend, I mean the girl that I talked to at school. I think it was also around this year that my brother moved into his own room and I became master and commander of my bedroom. I used to set elaborate boobie traps for any invaders. I also used to play with matchbox cars and my brother and I set up a pully system outside of the house from window to window and we called it "Sector 12." I'd get bored and go outside to try to catch the birds (as they flew down from the bird feeder to pick up remnants) in a crude, cartoon-like stick and box trap. I never caught one. But I did convince my parents to let me get a parakeet, which I named Irving. Oh, and Craig Carpenter and I found a Playboy in the snow that I accidentally ripped in half before we realized what it was. We spent hours trying to match soggy ripped page to it's corresponding bottom (or top). It was hell (and heaven.)

1982- Irving is still alive. He lasted longer than anyone thought. My dog, Barney is still a loyal companion and there's a new dog in town: Yankee. She was a purebred Brittany Spaniel so her AKC name was "Yankee Doodle Joy." I know. I had nothing to do with that. My brother and sister and I are now old enough to have chores. I get dog detail, which means I feed the dog, and even worse, clean Yankee's pen downstairs. Oh, by the way, Yankee was a fucking moron. She was supposed to be a hunting dog but was afraid of guns; she tried to bury her two litters of puppies AND she was never housebroken. Instead, we built a chicken wire kennel in the cellar and she slept there at night. I'd spread paper down and in the morning, I had to roll up the nasty newspaper which was:

a) pissed on and soaking wet.
b) spackled with hot dogshit.

My fingers punched through into the hot shit porridge too many times to mention. I was constantly retching as I did my "chore." The only good news about that chore was that when Yankee died, my chore ended. Todd ended up doing trash until he was about 17. One Christmas, I shit you not, he got TRASH BARRELS WITH WHEELS! I'm laughing thinking about it. He did not find it funny. Ha.

I remember thinking back then when I was eleven...
when I'm thirty three and blogging about these days...
I'll be a third done.

Tomorrow: 1983-1993!

Comments

[lara]

omg. this is friggin awesome. i can't remember what i did last year - forget 4 yrs old!!!!
*dead*

[Mumun]

We are almost the same age. I remember my parents being very animated about something on the news when I was toddling around: Watergate. By the end of the Carter presidency I was starting to get hip to world events but didn't understand them well. I don't think I understand them much better now.

First movie in a theatre for me was either FANTASIA or THE SPY WHO LOVED ME. I think the latter - quality time with my dad. I was not too young to appreciate Barbara Bach inordinately.

[Jen B.]

Star Wars was my first trip to the theater too, I must have been five or six. I remember being terrified, not of the movie, but because of the an anxiety attack I had thinking of how would I escape all these people should I have a heart attack or a fire breaks out... who has an OCD at six?! I also remember having a distinct fear of the TV Guide. What a fun kid I was.

[Dave W]

This is great. I was actually the last kid in town to see Star Wars. My mom finally took me on the last weekend it was in town. The movie began, and I began a play by play that lasted for the entire thing. I'd heard so much about it, and played at it with my chums I almost know it shot for shot. Oh, yeah... Great Larry Bird collection. Ah, Celtics.

[Dave L]

I was a big Star Wars freak as well and spent too much of my allowance on various Star Wars merch. I have to say though I missed the Star Wars sneakers. :-)

[Todd]

The reason why it wasn't funny was because it took the place of a REAL present. Picture the dismay on any child's face when they see a giant wrapped present the size of...uhm...a trash barrel only to rip it open and find...well you know. Plus, who wants a present that pertains to their chore? It would be like if I got you new newspaper to lay down for Yankee's pen. And to think, I was almost over it until you had to go tell the whole world.

[Shane]

Todd, actually, it would be like if you got me gloves for cleaning up her crap because the trash barrels made your job easier. I swear to god I'm still laughing at the face you made when you opened it. And there were trash bags inside! Remember?

[Ian]

It's funny, I grew up in a small town in Ireland yet there are so many similarities. From leaving skid marks with my rear brakes to the excitement at seeing Star Wars for my first movie in what seemed like a huge theater. One of those old type not the new fangled stadium seaters.

Great blog! BTW I live in NH now. Weird huh!

[Emily]

Happy belated birthday - I've been away for about a week and a half, and I am catching up on my "regular" reading.

I am in tears at work about your Yankee story. Thanks for the laughs - can't wait to read the rest.

~Emily

[Nic]

You've inspired me. Grazie. Your year by year play had me laughing so hard that AJ just looked over, stopped doing code and said, "What could be giving you more comedy than I?"

In a chuckle-snort reply, I say "buckle down love, The Nickerblog is on fuego caliente."

AJ: "Man. If I wasn't so busy coding this software program for the United States Congress, I'd be all over that bitch like white on rie."

[Robbie Williams]

I know this girl named leah and se says hey and if you have the time to call me my number is 509-722-3328